Single ladies, 5 damn good reasons to date an internet marketer

Ladies, has your dating life got dull and predictable? Are all the guys turning out to be self-absorbed jerks? Try dating an internet marketer!

Here's why dating a marketing super geek will make you a happy woman - and happiness is what really matters, right ladies?

He will "split test" the relationship for maximum happiness

Internet marketers are always concerned with metrics of maximizing the efficiency of conversion. They will always figure out the path of least resistance to converting a night out into a spectacular date.

Great conversation

Internet marketers will listen to what you are interested in and then optimize the conversation to make it most relevant to you. Internet marketers spend a lot of time-consuming the long tail of the most fascinating online content and information. They can converse on a variety of interesting topics. They can also introduce you to micro-niches of film and music you probably didn't know about.

They know how to get cool shit for free

You can get everything from clothes and jewelry to vacations for free on the internet if you know the right places to go and the right way to work the system. It's part of an internet marketer's job to know how to pimp the web for all the delightful freeness it has to offer.

They know the best places to go out

You never have to worry about an internet marketer taking you out to a crappy joint or inglorious hole-in-the-wall. An internet marketer will research and cross-examine to determine the highest-rated and most interesting restaurant to visit.

You can tell if they are cheating

Internet marketers may cheat since they are always looking to maximize the efficiency of their love lives through some unfaithful "split testing" of the other prospects in the market. But internet marketers are aggressively active on social media and make the very millennial mistake of being way too transparent about their personal lives online. If you aren't the only "lead" they are converting, chances are good you will find out about it sooner rather than later.

If you would like to find your own eCasanova, please just put your email into the box below and you will receive a completely free PDF ebook about more of the spectacular benefits along with a bonus report on how to impress your geek by using the latest and greatest technobabble.

Just kidding, I offer no such PDF. But for your reading pleasure, single ladies, I recommend checking out The “Bad Boy” Syndrome, by my delightfully witty and insightful wife - give ear to her advice and you'll enjoy, I dare say, a douchebag-free existence.