How To Be Interesting: 27 tips for becoming a remarkable person
Ⓒ By Jonathan Roseland |
Want instant satisfaction in your endeavor to be a fascinating individual? Read on.
This article will try to focus on the 'fake it till you make it' type of aesthetic things you can do with a minimum investment to make you a better conversationalist and the sort of person people cannot resist. Being remarkable is a tremendous asset -- whether you want to impress a date, get a promotion at work, gain new friends instantly and effortlessly, or develop greater self-confidence. It may seem like interesting individuals are born, not made – but this is not the case. Anyone willing to put forth the effort can become captivating.
Note: In this article, I will refer to the nebulous, perceived quality of being interesting as a person's interest quotient.
Conversation topics to avoid.
Extraordinary individuals avoid the average and the mediocre subjects that most people drone on and on about. Try to avoid spending too much time on these topics...
- Work – Like most people on this planet you probably have a job, that occupies most of your time and mental energy. Congratulations on being average! Unless your job is particularly interesting or relevant to the discussion keep things brief on this topic.
- Your Debt – You're probably in debt. Sucks don't it? Unless there's something I can do to help can we please avoid this topic?
- Your Weight – If you're overweight that's too bad, you probably should have eaten better or been more disciplined about staying active. Again unless there's something I can do to help can we please avoid this topic?
- Your Kids – You love your kids so, of course, you like to talk about them but unless we are discussing parenting specifically it's a pretty bland subject. Especially to younger, single people.
- Your Cell Phone – I bet you have a cool cell phone. I bet it can surf the internet. I bet it can download apps. I also bet your cell phone is going to be obsolete and outmoded in 12 months, just like mine.
- Celebrity Gossip – If you are speaking to someone remotely intelligent please avoid this subject.
- Popular Sports – Unless your audience is hardcore sports aficionados don't spend too much time on this topic. Virtually every American male is an expert on the game of football, so spending 20 minutes repeating facts you heard on Sports Center only makes you very, very average.
- Politics – "Poor people need healthcare too..." Yeah, no shit Sherlock! Unless you have a particularly intelligent or unique point of view which you can back up with historical facts, please keep it to yourself.
- Popular TV Shows - It basically just communicates that you live vicariously through the fictional lives on-screen every evening.
Good conversation topics.
Being an interesting conversationalist is not quite as simple as making a list of topics, even though I will do it anyways. It really revolves around holding the interest of your audience while at the same time providing value by making fluent conversation on a topic that is relevant to your audience or your environment. Please remember though that small minds talk about people, moderate minds talk about events and great minds talk about ideas. So if your conversation is stuck in small talk practice topic escalation to speaking about something more significant. For more on this please check out my other blog: 14 Methods and Mindset Tricks to Make you a More Interesting Conversationalist. Here are some conversation topics that I've found increase your interest quotient.
- History – The events, personalities, and ideologies that have resulted in our present culture.
- Transhumanism - Transhumanism is the technological, societal, ideological move to mental and physical human immortality.
- Capitalism – I always enjoy debating how capitalism is the least evil way for the world to work.
- Entrepreneurship – The people who risk everything to change the world and make money doing it will always be interesting.
- Marketing – Marketing is a huge part of all our lives yet few people understand how it works.
- Psychology – An introspective look at our own lives is always interesting.
- Conspiracy Theories – People have and will always be fascinated by conspiracy theories or alternative histories.
- Stories – From the cradle to the grave we all love a great story. Have 10-15 interesting stories (they don't have to be yours) that you can share.
- Sex
Have a signature something.
Your "signature something" is basically anything you say or do consistently that makes you unique. The memorable protagonists in movies always have a signature something. Like Indiana Jones and his hat or James Bond and his shaken martini's. If you don't mind a bit of blatant self-promotion here are several signature somethings of mine, feel free to steal them.
My signature cocktail toast: If you follow me on social media (or drink with me) you've probably heard this one: Here's to living famously, drinking dangerously, lying audaciously, and to the friends who forgive us for doing so.
My signature excuse: "It happens to the worst of us" - this is a play on words for the phrase "It happens to best of us." For example:
My friend: I met a really gorgeous girl and was having a great conversation with her then I forgot her name.
Me: Oh well, it happens to the worst of us...
My signature clothing style: Things in white that men usually don't wear in white. I've owned a white suit jacket (several now actually as I always seem to spill drinks on them), white leather belt, white watch, and white leather dress shoes.
My signature introduction: When meeting women, I shake hands, double cup my other palm over hers (my left hand), lift her other hand with my shaking hand (my right hand), and kiss the back of her hand while staring in her eyes.
My signature drink(s): Patron-Redbull, Manhattan Whiskey Martini, or 1554 Belgian Ale. I do let people know what I am drinking because everyone has tastes when it comes to what they like to drink and it makes for great conversation.
My signature dance move: I use a swing dance move called a double crossover. Here's how to pull it off... While holding each other's hands, I lift her left hand up behind my head so her hand sits on my right shoulder. She does the same, then we release our hands behind our heads and slide our opposite hands to each other. If the girl is a little clumsy the first time I tease her for not being sober enough to pull off my move, then we try again and she usually nails it. This fun move takes about 90 seconds to learn and looks great. You can do it dancing to jazz, salsa, hip hop, or even rock. I will find a youtube video and put it up.
My signature movie line: I steal this line from Russell Crowe in Gladiator: "Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not what you came here to see?" I usually say this after something funny or entertaining has happened. This goes over particularly well if I'm dealing with artsy, entertainer, or performer types.
My signature vice: Dominican cigar, the kind I like costs about $7 and will last all night (make sure to bring a little zip-locked baggy so you can put the cigar in your pocket while you step inside). Cigarettes look bad, smell bad, taste horrific, are terrible for you, and pricey. If you are going to "smoke socially," go with a cigar. Unless you are a pretty hardcore nicotine addict a tasty cigar will give you that buzz as well as satisfy that Freudian desire to suck on an object in your mouth while socializing.
One item I don't have is a signature dish or recipe: I am a force of destruction in the kitchen but if you are a decent cook figure out a signature dish or meal that you can perfect and make your own.
Be a rebel (sort of).
Humorously position yourself as "a rebel" against some form of authority. A few examples...
- I had to go to traffic court today to stand trial for my crimes against humanity.
- I had a battle against the tyrannical customer service policies of my cable company.
- To the parking ticket Nazis, I am Winston Churchill and I will have my V-Day!
Have a scripted sequence you use with a wingman (or wingwoman).
Nobody is interested in the guy singing his own praises but watch how entranced they become when someone else talks about you. I had a friend with who I would go to social events and after introducing ourselves he would always mention briefly that I was an "interesting entrepreneur." This of course opened up the opportunity for me to chat about myself without seeming self-absorbed. Make sure you return the favor.
Watch old movies.
Actors in old movies had some great mannerisms and sayings that have been lost in the modern age. I particularly like old James Bond movies, the way the young Sean Connery moves and talks is just electric. Watch an old movie and pick out a line or move to use.
Use interesting phrases.
Have a portfolio of clever or interesting phrases and words to use, here are a few I like - again feel free to steal them!
- Capricious antics – This is a line I heard from the diary of a 1920's Antarctic explorer. It means someone acting crazy just for fun.
- Least evil – When something is not great but better than an alternative. Example: Smoking cigars is the least evil way for me to die lung cancer when I am 85!
- Boldly Go... - I'm a big sci-fi geek so I like to use Captain Kirk's great lines from time to time. Example: Let us boldly go to the next bar!
- Persnickety - Placing too much emphasis on trivial or minor details; fussy.
- Perpetual – This means ongoing or continual. Example: Your friend Kris is perpetually sober, what a crime!
- Information equity – This is a marketing-information theory buzz phrase. Start using it!
You can find huge lists of more on the internet. Also, get a word of the day email or calendar to educate yourself a little daily.
Dress distinctively well.
The fact of the matter is that we make a lot of judgments by the way someone dresses. People who dress very well will always seem significantly more important than those who throw on a t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Even if you are short, ugly, a poor communicator, and broke being immaculately dressed will improve people's impressions of you by 200% - 300%. If you want to take this to the next level don't just dress sharp, add something distinctive and maybe even a little daring; like cufflinks, a suit vest, a huge watch, or a fedora. Dressing better will absolutely improve your own level of confidence as well, Bill Zanker the founder of the international organization The Learning Annex (+$100 million in sales) in a book he co-authored with Donald Trump talks about how when his students hit certain goals he requires that they go out and buy $5000 suits and then wear the suits in business settings. Just because their level of confidence while wearing a $5000 suit allows them to take their business to the next level.
Money-saving tip: Please don't think I'm suggesting you should max out all your credit cards and raid your savings to buy a $5000 suit. There are a lot more affordable ways to dress sharp; I highly recommend Express, where you can get a great-looking suit for about $300. I'm going to run the risk of sounding like ad copy in Esquire here but fine clothes are a good investment and I've gotten my best ROI from Express for Men. Obviously, clothing doesn't appreciate monetarily, but people really do make assumptions about you from the way you dress, you might as well use that to your advantage. If even $300 is too steep for you I would hit the fashion boutiques online at eBay, Amazon, or Aliexpress, where you can get even cheaper good looking stuff...
Go tanning.
Yep, this one is pretty shallow. Tan people always look just a little better, which will improve your confidence. You can spend your relaxing time in the tanning booth educating yourself; listening to a podcast or audio program about a subject. People assume you either have some interesting ancestry or spend time outside as opposed to being in front of the computer or the television or trapped in a cubicle all day. Just don't let the cute tanning salon girls upsell you to their expensive lotions. The $10 stuff from the grocery store works just as well, I've actually tested it.
Have a distinctive business card.
Don't you get bored of white business cards with black text and small blue logos? If you want to make a unique first impression get a professional graphic designer to make you a card or splurge a little on some cool plastic or transparent business cards. I'll never forget the nightclub owner who gave me a tin metal business card with the logo stamped out, I kept that card in my wallet for years and showed it to everyone.
Drive an interesting car.
If you are like most people, your life requires a car. Why not drive an interesting car? People with interesting cars are not only instantaneously more interesting to the general public but you establish immediate rapport and friendship with anyone else who has unique automotive tastes. My personal recommendation is older luxury cars. Once upon a time I bought a gorgeous used Lexus coup for $7000, it was incredibly stylish, fast, and had all the luxury features I could want. Did I mention that it was also very fuel-efficient and maintenance was next to nothing? Next time you are at a dealership looking at a Camry, Focus, or Explorer consider what you can buy for the same money that has a little more personality and style.
Collect something.
Interesting people own interesting things. If you can't afford a Siberian tiger yet don't worry you can start small. Like collecting some rare coins, stamps, or art, or buy a fish tank and put some cool fish in it.
Enthusiastic loyalty to the absent.
I have a lot of interesting, talented, funny, smart, idiosyncratic friends and I make sure to talk about them to each other. Each time I talk about myself I try to make it a point to talk about someone else. My comments are always positive and focus on the remarkable qualities of my absent friends.
Confident stride.
Having a confident stride helps. As you walk; inhale deeply so that your chest rises slightly. Move your shoulders back. Also, slow down your walk some, feel your center of gravity and visualize yourself gliding.
Room entry.
When you walk into a room stand in or near the doorway for a moment and survey the scene. Most people when entering a room will march directly over to a bar, table, or whatever. This makes you stand out and commands attention.
Ask others to be interesting.
After the initial greetings, begin a conversation with, "So tell me something interesting about you..." because most people love the opportunity to talk about themselves.
Compliment others.
Display charisma by showing off your kindness and praising others publicly. Make eye contact and speak with confidence while you're doing so. There's nothing like a person who makes others feel good while appearing humble.
Talk to strangers.
You may think that chatting with the grocery store checker or the bank teller is a waste of time but do it anyway. Interesting people are friendly people.
Move your mouse to the other side of the computer.
If you are right-handed move the mouse to the left side of the computer or vice versa. Keep it there for an hour a day. It will feel really awkward at first but in a short while, you will develop coordination in your left hand. This will strengthen the bridge between your right brain and left brain. Allowing your creative nature to interact more freely with your analytical nature.
Make people laugh.
This one should be self-explanatory; interesting people have a witty, intelligent sense of humor. They have a collection of funny one-liners and can pick out the humorous irony in situations.
Master the metaphor.
From the cradle to the grave we all love metaphors that help us familiarize and understand some sort of abstraction. I would say that the ability to come up with great metaphors on the spot comes from a deep, wide understanding of topics.
Be contrary.
Pick a topic that the general public has a very common opinion on and adopt the opposite stance. Here are a few examples...
- The person who doesn't believe global warming is happening.
- The person who thinks that technology is going to lead society down a bad path.
- The person who preaches that making money is the way to happiness.
Show a little common sense though, don't be the asshole arguing that women shouldn't have the right to vote.
Be interested.
Focus outward and leave a little mystery, unless prompted. Interesting people are interested. Try to rediscover a childlike curiosity about the world. Practice genuine interest in the lives and passions of the people you interact with. Whenever you make a new friend or acquaintance resolve to discover something remarkable about them.
Make interesting friends.
Did you know your income is almost always the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? Your interest quotient is the same way. Make more interesting friends and spend time with them. You may even want to stroke their ego just a little bit by asking them to mentor you. To find these people ask your current circle of friends who is the most interesting person they know or go on Facebook and join groups relating to interesting subjects.
Take up a hobby.
You'll never be THAT interesting if all you do is work. Develop some hobbies like...
- Dancing (swing, salsa, breakdancing, etc)
- Martial arts
- Learn magic tricks
- Go rock climbing
- Learn to sail
- Learn to do public speaking
- Brew your own beer
Pursue personal development.
Sure you may have some highly developed skillsets or have accomplished some impressive things in your life. That doesn't mean you are above needing to constantly be taking those introspective looks at yourself to find areas of improvement.
Get motivated daily!
Remember what Zig Ziglar said...
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."
Whew! That's was an exhaustive list of suggestions for becoming more interesting - and frankly, it just scratches the surface of the topic. There's a book worth reading that goes deeper, The 2AM Principle by Jon Levy.
Finally...
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