9 Steps to Becoming a Tantric Man
| Ⓒ By Jonathan Roseland |
Module 1 of my new Tantra course for men, Master Mind Master Body Master Her
I’ll start by describing the first thing that men should NOT do if they want an amazing Tantric sex life, using porn.
Why no fap…
“No Fap” means not masturbating to internet porn. You’re going to need to choose between having a rowdy sex life or enjoying porn — sorry, you don’t get to have both! So much of our motivational psychology is just a manifestation of our selfish genes trying to get into the next generation that when you masturbate frequently with your own hand you deprive yourself profoundly of natural male aggression, drive, and zest for life.
If you are a moderate masturbator, who is doing it a couple of times a week, you’ll find that no fapping increases your motivation and energy by 25%-50%. However, if you’ve got a real porn addiction, where it’s an everyday thing or a couple of times a day, no fapping will really change your life, but it’s also going to be quite difficult. But it will be worth it, I promise.
Why semen retention?
No fap is a commonality among high-performing men. Like the tantric techniques, which we'll explore in a later module, it’s a way to retain biologically costly semen. Retaining semen increases testosterone sharply and puts your cognition into overdrive because not coming for an extended period convinces your evolutionary psychology that you are not passing your genes on. On a biological level, your genes are screaming…
This guy is not making any babies! Gene death! Red alert! We need to give him a bunch of motivational fuel and dial his cognitive powers up!
And your genes will start to make you a dangerous dude; a more confident, assertive, dauntless man cutting a wake through life. Your genes know more about what women really want in the man that they'll surrender to sexually than a million pop psychology books. Give your genes the signals they need and your genes will reward you.
Get started no fapping…
If you’re a first-time no fapper try to just go two weeks. This is sufficient for you to experience a noticeable boost in testosterone from not orgasming.- If you can go for two weeks, try going for a whole month. This amount of time gives your brain the time to start reprogramming its arousal-reward system. 30 days of no fapping is a lot easier to accomplish if you drink no alcohol and maintain sobriety that month. So it’s better to just plan to abstain from both porn and all intoxicants simultaneously.
- Then try going for 60 or 90-day blocks of no fapping. Once you develop this kind of discipline you’ll find that when you finally do use porn it’s kind of boring and uninspiring.
- If you keep practicing discipline and doing the kinds of things described in this course eventually you’ll get into an intimate relationship with a virtuous woman, who you’re enjoying sex with regularly, and then there won’t be any reason to watch porn — in fact, it will likely hurt your performance in bed!
If you’re serious about this give a listen to this Free Domain Radio podcast interview with a very knowledgeable porn addiction expert who has some interesting things to say.
Is fapping wrong?
From a libertarian perspective, I don’t see anything especially immoral about watching porn or masturbation. Yes, it is a vile industry that wrecks many young women’s lives, but you could say the same about Hollywood or even the music industry. Are you also going to stop watching movies and listening to music because of the peripheral costs to society of a product that you’re streaming for free on the internet? Pragmatically, I put watching porn in the same moral and hedonistic category as eating pizza…
Pizza is not intrinsically good or bad.
Eating pizza is a cheap, yet consistent pleasure that doesn’t last long.
Eating pizza every day is a bad idea that will make you profoundly unhealthy and generally unmotivated.
You can eat pizza about once weekly but you won’t be in ideal health.
You could eat pizza once monthly and still be very healthy.
You could eat pizza just a few times yearly and be in excellent health and not really miss pizza.
You could completely give up pizza and replace it with a less pedestrian pleasure that gives you greater gastronomical enjoyment.
I’m a true hedonist, I chose the greater pleasure over the lesser pleasure, and watching porn is a lesser pleasure compared to having a richer life because I’m motivated to go after everything that I want, thanks to the no fapping.
But there are some notable downsides to no fap…
- Your dick will shrink (yikes, right?) if it's not getting worked out regularly.
- If (like a lot of single guys) you don't fap so you will have the motivation to get over your social anxiety — approach, date, and actually, try to get laid — it will work for that purpose! But after no fapping for 7–10 days (or more), you’ll find that things may be anti-climatic in the bedroom when you finally get down to business with someone you’re really attracted to. If you come after three minutes, sometimes she’ll forgive you and return to your bed, but sometimes it’s a job interview and you won’t get a callback. Tantric methods will give you the stamina to keep them coming back!
- No fap makes you horny and horny you is known to make bad decisions, isn’t he? No fapping will reorganize your priorities around socializing and dating. Unless you are actively biohacking your self-control, no fapping may really put your lizard brain in charge, and you may not be happy with the smelly, wet places that scaley bastard drags you off into! Several tantric methods will help you better yield your sexual energies.
- If you’re in a healthy marriage or long-term relationship, you are going to be having unprotected sex and ejaculating with your partner with about the same weekly frequency that I think the average single guy gets off to porn. Obviously, having sex with another real human is a whole lot healthier than making a mess by yourself, while transfixed by a glowing screen, but it has a somewhat similar effect on testosterone and your immune system. So, in this course, you'll learn about nonejaculatory orgasms (which can be more fun than they may sound.)
Tantra is transformative for long-term relationships and actually a loyalty biohack (for you and your woman). We'll talk about that some more in module two.
Storytime - The sexiest piece of furniture that I ever owned (and grew to hate…)
Young Americans have this silly coming-of-age tradition; at around 18 years old they move out of their parents’ homes and rent cheap and completely bare apartments in bad neighborhoods and then blow their cash on crappy furniture and chintzy interior appointments.
Living around the world, I’ve learned that other cultures do this more sensibly; young people move out in their mid-twenties when they are more advanced in their careers or when they get married, and they often move into furnished apartments with roommates.
The experience of glowing with pride, sitting alone, in your new-to-you (yet funny-smelling) little apartment surrounded by a bunch of newly bought, cheap plastic stuff from Walmart is, as far as I can tell, a uniquely American one.
Many young Americans splurge disproportionate amounts of their income and savings on toys to show off to their friends who come over to their one-bedroom kingdoms; big-screen TVs, ridiculously overpowered stereo systems, guns, and massive collections of bottles of alcohol. And like so many male mammals, a young Jonathan Roseland was intent on converting his bedroom, in his tiny abode, into the ultimate seduction chamber…
I fell in love with this ridiculous style of mirrored, black-lacquer bed set. It was about 12 feet wide by eight feet tall with huge six-foot mirrors that reflected everything. It also had chrome dimmer lights and a secret compartment with a champagne case. They cost about $2000 brand new, but I managed to score an already loved one for just $300 off a very classy website called Craigslist.
To make it even more over the top, I purchased about 10 body-length mirrors, which I placed on the wall opposite the mirrored bed set, turning my bedroom into a funhouse of infinite reflections. To make my bedroom even more kaleidoscope-like I mounted a $700 nightclub laser opposite the bed, the only thing I was missing was a dry ice machine! And I managed to seduce a grand total of three women there in my mirrored funhouse of a bedroom.
I did grow to hate my sexy bed set as I moved a lot and every 6–12 months we had to disassemble this ridiculous thing. This damned thing required at least three people to move it. Every time its massive size, weight, or proportions managed to injure (just a little bit) someone whom I had convinced to help me move it. It broke down into about eight separate pieces that had to be put together like a jigsaw puzzle, requiring hours of tedious teamwork, yet I never managed to fit it together just perfectly so it looked the way it was supposed to.
This was such a cantankerous thing to own that I grew to hate it more than the leaky, squeaky old Porsche I once had. I was truly relieved the day I sold it. Good riddance!
The advice I would go back and give a younger me is that...
The quantity and quality of your sex life is way more about your habits and what you know than it is about what you have.
In the second module of the course, I'll share another story: Losing my virginity to a spy (yes, really - true story)
Porn Addiction
I've struggled with porn addiction. You probably have too. Many guys hear about the personal development benefits of No Fap, practice a little self-control, and can quit porn cold turkey or at least cut back sharply. But a smaller proportion of guys have a more hardcore addiction; they have tried quitting porn multiple times and like heroin addicts, they shamefully relapse consistently. Going cold turkey doesn't work for them. Just like many heroin addicts need to transition to a lesser drug to overcome their self-destructive vice; a tantric semen retention self-cultivation practice can be a way of reprogramming the damage a porn addiction does to the psyche.
If you’ve got a real hard-to-kick porn problem, you’ll want to stack other life hacks, tools, and behaviors…
- Install a porn blocker on your browser, smartphone, and at the wifi network level with a free tool like OpenDNS which is free and takes just about 15 minutes to set up.
- Avoid all the thirst traps on social media; unfollow on Instagram and Facebook all the professional hot chick accounts that just post skanky photos. I highly recommend the News Feed Eradicator extension; which gets rid of the time-wasting, clogged-with-ads, guaranteed-to-get-you-into-trouble newsfeeds on social media sites.
- Filter adult content out of your Google Image searches.
- Delete your old porn collection.
- Do meditation, eat right, exercise, and go off booze to fortify your self-control.
- If you find it especially hard to change some of your patterns of impulse, fantasy, and behavior around porn, don't give up hope! In part seven, I'll share an epigenetic transformation meditation method that can hard reset some of your mindset and behaviors (in as little as 50 minutes!)
- Hire an accountability coach (like me).
But I think that the most powerful motivation, for single guys, is to keep reminding yourself that the supreme pleasure of hot, unprotected sex with a real woman awaits if you can leave the porn behind.
My wife's cooking
A few of the delicious and delectable things she's created in the kitchen, just to illustrate the carnal pleasures of a Tantric man's life. My wife is not my maid, cooking is far from her favorite thing to do. She does it because she loves me, and I have the cooking skills of a toddler.
One of the greatest gifts that a Tantric practice gives back to you is a more tranquil relationship with a woman who is a bit more yielding.
Because when you're able to consistently deliver to your woman powerful body-rocking orgasms it imbues you with some of the authority that you deserve in your relationship. Her moodiness and stubbornness will transform (perhaps to a surprising degree) into feminine pleasantness and agreeableness inside and outside and outside of the bedroom.
A word from Jonathan's wife
Hey guys! I'm the woman who has herself been experiencing all the tantric techniques presented in this course firsthand, and let me tell you the results are astounding! I've never had stronger and more intense orgasms, and of course, I've never been more inclined to compromise with my husband.
Has it always been like this though? Unfortunately, not. When Jonathan and I began dating sex was pretty much okay but nothing to write home about. I wouldn't orgasm and it was mostly for his pleasure. Then we got married and nothing changed until the moment he decided to quit porn for good and become a REALLY monogamous guy (mentally as well as physically!) by transforming his mindset. It took him time, a lot of hard work, self-control, commitment, and devotion BUT he got there. He wanted to show me that he was a changed man so he started thoroughly researching ways to pleasure me better in bed and to become a better lover. And that's how we discovered tantra together. It's changed our whole sex life and has dramatically enhanced its quality, starting with me finally getting my powerful, dream orgasms that make my toes curl.
Thanks to Tantra our intimate connection is so much stronger and now I totally feel cared for in bed. It turned Jonathan into this passionate, confident, yet gentle and dedicated man I always wanted, and brought us closer together. I now have the sex life so many women crave, and can honestly admit that my tantric husband is the best lover I've ever had.
Wierd factoid:
In animal studies of antidepressant drugs, they subject male mice to something rather perverse called a social defeat experiment. They place a voyeur male mouse in a little mouse cage with a glass wall where they can see a fertile female mouse placed in the neighboring cage. Then a larger male is placed with her and the subject mouse must watch the other mouse repeatedly mating with the female. Predictably the isolated male gets depressed, listless, and unplayful. Then the scientists give the depressed voyeur mouse whatever antidepressant drug they are experimenting with.
Don't be the cuck mouse in the laboratory of life!
Your Homework
Do Kegels daily. Kegels are flexing and releasing your pubococcygeus muscle - this is the muscle you flex when you "cut off the stream" while peeing.
Do them whenever you use the bathroom. Also whenever you stop at red lights do a few Kegels. This is a little more long-term sex Biohack, don't expect immediate improvement. Good Looking Loser advises that...
It takes about 5 or 6 weeks to see slight improvements but results (ability to shoot cum, noticeably harder erections/orgasms, ejaculation control) come faster after that...
If you do Kegels 6 days a week for 4+ months you should see a dramatic improvement in your sexual health and ability to control your orgasm.
Humpday #Biohack: Do your Kegel exercises anytime you are waiting for something to load; an app, browser software or web page.
— Jonathan Roseland (@JRoseland) November 16, 2016
Do these regularly and you will become a bit more dangerous dude in the dick department!
Announcing: Master Mind, Master Body, Master Her
My new 7-part Tantra course is going to transform you into a Tantric multi-orgasmic man in 22 days.
Reclaim your sovereignty and recapture your destiny by mastering an uncommon set of 22 Tantric techniques for cultivating and yielding your sexual energy to build the meaningful life of abundance, joy, and carnal ecstasy you desire.
In this course, you'll learn in 22 days how to unleash the power of sexual transmutation to surround yourself with beauty. Whether that's the beauty of women, the beauty of the woman whose heart you'll win, the beauty of the woman you've chosen, or the complex layers of beauty beckoning in your relationship with her. Or the beauty of the precious new life you'll create in your image with her. You'll be a man elevated by beauty, not resigned to longing for it through a glowing screen.
The course will delve deeply into...
- How sex transmutation is done practically
- Stacking biohacks for mindblowing sex
- How to breathe LIKE A JEDI
- How single guys can yield their sexual energy to build a beautiful life
- How coupled guys can re-ignite passion in their relationships
- How to elicit yielding Yin feminity from your woman
- And MUCH more
After spending quite a while deep in "monk mode" working on it, it's now ready for your edification. This is my magnum opus on all things sex and relationship hacking. Here I break down everything in the course and the personal transformation you can expect...
And don't worry this isn't one of those wildly overpriced online courses, I've priced it pretty affordably, it's NOT going to have you eating ramen for the next three months.
Enroll: Master Mind Master Body Master Her
If you're tantalized by the idea of sex hacking and Tantra but NOT sure if it's for you, it's NOT for everyone - watch Module 1 in full and please check out the FAQ section for the course.
Who this course is for...
- Guys seeking the right relationship - If you're single and dating, in the market for a girlfriend or something more serious, what you'll learn here will make you a more attractive man. Sleeping with a woman doesn't guarantee that she'll become your girlfriend so you'll learn how to spike her Oxytocin early in the relationship, seducing her enduring affections.
- Sexually inexperienced guys (even virgins) - Cultivating yourself as a tantric man will give you the confidence to get some experience under your belt (figuratively and literally!) What's keeping you sexually inexperienced is what you know and your habits; that will change as you learn to yield your sexual energy.
- Guys in rocky relationships - You've got a girlfriend or wife, but there's some real room for improvement in the relationship. You're frustrated about not getting what you want from her in (or out) of the bedroom. Tantric techniques will elicit from her the yielding feminine energy you're starving for.
Who it is NOT for...
- The noncommittal players - Promiscuity and tantra are fundamentally incompatible. Using tantric techniques with random women whom you sleep with and then discard is self-destructive. Please save yourself the drama and possible legal consequences, players!
- Guys in hunky-dory relationships - If you're in a good monogamous relationship and happy with your sex life, why fix what ain't broken? Tantric practice changes (sometimes dramatically) the sexual energy in a relationship. It might not be right for you and your lady.
Included: One-on-one coaching call with me
Once you finish the 22-day practice plan, you'll be eligible for a call - up to 45 minutes; we can talk sex hacking, relationship hacking (relationshacking), Biohacking, and troubleshoot any issues or challenges you've had in your Tantric practice, along with clearing up any questions you might have remaining - whatever you might want to discuss with an obsessive +12 year self-experimenter!
My Biohacking consulting/coaching packages start at $189 so do take advantage of this (included with the course for the first 20 students - because I can only fit in so many consulting calls)
Finally...
Visit a cemetery to begin your journey as a Tantric man
If you're an unapologetic seducer passionate about personal growth, Biohacking, and transformation - like me - you should totally hang out in cemeteries from time to time. A cemetery is actually the best place for you to begin your journey as a tantric man. Sounds crazy, right?
At a cemetery on a sunny day, you will be confronted by a powerful juxtaposition of death and beauty. I'm surrounded by thousands of tombstones and the decaying bodies below them. But here above ground, it's beautiful, as you can see. The routine, mundanity, and vicissitudes of life get in the way of us pursuing and enjoying beauty (whether that’s the beauty of women you could be seducing or the more beautiful relationship you could have with your woman).
I wrote my wife a love letter, I’ll quote from it...
The meaning of life has been debated since such a question could even be pondered, I’d advance that the meaning of life is simply to take note of the richness to be found in the moments when one finds themselves in the presence of beauty.
Strolling alone, in silence, with no distractions, in a cemetery, you’ll take note of the beauty of the natural world (the grass, the trees, the tweeting birds, the blue sky above). And then you’ll take note more of the beauty in life.
After visiting a cemetery, you won’t procrastinate so much when it comes to pursuing and creating beauty in your life, because you’re so powerfully reminded here that life is finite. You have less time than you think to enjoy beauty. So carpe diem; seize the day, take risks, because one day you’ll be in a place like this, my friend.
And I’ll end this presentation on sex with an important point I want to leave you with...
We have this unequaled drive within us, our sex drive (it compels men to go to the ends of the earth, build empires, and take wild risks.) But it’s kind of like “the force” in Star Wars, it can be used for good or for destruction. The tantric man yields his sexual energy to build a great life full of beauty for himself.
But we only have this powerful sex drive because of death. If we weren't mortal, if our days weren't numbered, we wouldn't need sex as a species.
When you see a beautiful woman and you feel burning desire throughout your whole body, that’s your genes telling you that you are going to die, and urging you to take action, to take a chance!
Whether you want to join us in this course or not, go visit a cemetery. It won’t take that long to do. I bet you have one not that far from you. Walk and think about your life, have a conversation with yourself, and think about the beauty you want in your life. Do it this week. That’s where your journey as a tantric man will start...
Enroll: Master Mind Master Body Master Her
Women are dangerous.
If you're single, you no fap, and you implement the tantric sex hacks described here, I’d urge you to read my book, Don’t Stick Your Dick in a Blender, because you’re going to be getting laid (maybe a lot) and I don’t want you to royally fuck up your life by sleeping with the wrong kinds of women. Good, yet naive, men routinely wreck their lives because they “stick their dick in a blender” — having sex with the wrong kinds of women. STDs, unplanned pregnancies, false accusations, mental health headcases, and divorce make chasing skirts a dangerous game. If you want to “test drive” the book, download these sample chapters and read them at your leisure on your E-Reader device or smartphone with the Kindle app.
Finally...
Join the Limitless Mindset Substack to...
Get frequent free edifying content about Biohacking, Lifehacking, and my holistic pragmatic antifragility philosophy. This informative (and often entertaining!) Substack is about how to take advantage of the latest anti-aging and Biohacking science and where I dispense timely mindset nuggets, lifehacking tips, and my own musings.
Photos
-
{{#owner}}
-
{{#url}}
{{#avatarSrc}}
{{name}} {{/url}} {{^url}} {{#avatar}} {{& avatar}} {{/avatar}} {{name}} {{/url}} - {{/owner}} {{#created}}
- {{created}} {{/created}}
